I am looking right now at $30 worth of bad currency. I haven't watched my change, and I have a ten and a twenty where people have cut the corners from other bills and pasted them onto a one. Wouldn't you rather have a job, jerk?

LATER: A friend of the boys -- a favorite of Lucy's -- was here this weekend. He services video poker machines for a living and finds many of these bills. The machines can't distinguish them if they are done well enough.