I do not like to shop. I especially do not like to shop for ceramic tile. Oh, it would be fine if I could start from scratch, beginning with the floor, like a good decorator. But to try to match existing colors in furniture and countertops and stuff can be a challenge.

For some reason, the trend in tile colors runs to pink. I have little use for pink. Pink is for cats' tongues and babies' ears, not the balcony floor.

I need grays and greens and blues -- cooling colors to match the surf, and, incidentally, the furniture and the kitchen countertop and the existing tile inside the condo.

Why not use the same tile as inside the condo, you ask? Because it has been discontinued. There are only 7 pieces left in the universe, and they are mine.

The procedure is: go to the store, pick up three or four or six tiles that are acceptable, take them to the condo, lay them on the balcony and watch them turn pink in the sunlight. Return those to the store, pick up four or five more and watch them do the same.

Carolina White? Nah, baby-doll pink.

The building color is not particularly pink, so why do the tiles deceive so?

Enough of that, the selected color is "Glacial Tundra", an 18-inch porcelain tile with shades of gray and green with too much hint of brown, but we've reached the stage where the perfect is the enemy of the good. It's bought and paid for and should be installed at the end of next week.

I hate shopping.