Lucy has an unseemly attraction to Lyman's son, Michael. It's not as bad as Eclectus males humping people's wristwatches, but she goes into sexual flutters around him at times.

Now, we run a fairly liberal household here. While their grandparents might flip, if either of these boys took up with an African-American woman or Latina or other, she would be welcome in this house. I would need to change the color palette for Christmas stocking items, perhaps, or allow myself to consider more exotic perfumes. (Dark women can wear them with more style.)

If either of the boys came out as gay, the same would apply.

But Lucy, honey, incestuous bestiality is off the chart. Sorry, baby.