What, you ask, are these "sisterly relations" of which you speak?

They go something like this:

"There are some interesting things in that box in the bathroom."

Patricia gets a starter set of bareMinerals makeup.

"The school teacher who lived in this house wasn't much of a housekeeper. This kitchen sink is terrible."

Patricia's sink sparkles with the help of a couple of products and elbow grease.

"Charles hasn't come to see my new house."

Charles comes smiling to dinner on Sunday.

"I strained my back at the lake. The only thing that helps is Mr. Thumper. Did you ever get another Mr. Thumper? You didn't? You're going to take Mr. Thumper, aren't you?"

Patricia keeps Mr. Thumper.

It sounds one-sided, doesn't it? But that doesn't include stifling teary laughter at the Modern. Patricia has no reverence at all for modern art. She read the description of a molten mass of plastic in one corner, the artist's largest commission to date. "Screwed again!" she said.