I am mortified.

I visited the lady doctor, and I have an acute case of bronchitis.

She ordered a shot in...in my hiney.

Trade-outs.

We're watching a show on HGTV, called "What You Get for the Money".

$400,000 in Los Angeles buys a 750 square ft. condo, which is smaller than my kitchen and den combined. The kitchen here alone is 280. A cool $148,000 in a high-rise condo, and you can sleep on the bar! Put a kid on the island!

Of course, there you're in the heart of the action.

Verrry interesting.

With Halloween coming up, should we teach Charlie "Werewolf of London"? I'm sure he'd do the AIOOOH perfectly.

(Of course, Lyman says whatever you teach him, you'll hear a lot. With all these wolf whistles in the house, I've never felt so pretty.)

In ongoing parrot news, Charlie has now settled into his baths. The honking has subsided, and he's more and more cooperative. He might even, ah, like them, but as a little boy would never let on.

Lucy seems to like Charlie, too, but acts like a crotchety aunt most of the time.

But you'll frequently catch her preening his head, and she'll stay at it for a good while if you don't watch too long or say anything.

Oh, and today Charlie is 8 months old.

Yikes.

So, Mr. Hlatky, when I was nearly sick with grief over Katrina, a lovely man with a beautifully dressed orchestra came on the screen and lifted my heart. That was Andre Rieu, and his specialty is Strauss.

Where does he rate?

A peek at his website shows he is deadly commercial, but his music is joyous.

I'm not a gun girl -- I prefer knives and cast iron skillets -- but Mostly Cajun goes on the blogroll.

Speaking of hair, if I had any choice, I would wear the high-class pageboy, or a French twist. Perhaps a chignon, on occasion.

I French-braided my longer hair, and pinned it under at the bottom. Or clipped it in a ponytail high on my crown.

Here's the kind of gentleman I like. I asked Daniel Morris to tell us what he needs, and he does.

Coats in the South don't have to be huge. Mr. Morris, I'm clean out of coats, and I wear the Brooks Brothers I bought in 1985 (which you can't have). Who can we donate to who will buy you proper coats?

I just looked at the Land's End catalog. We can do that well at Wal-Mart. What are your sizes?

I wear Wal-Mart, too.

Scarlet

I am a fair decent Southern girl, but I try to stay away from Scarlett.

I might think about this tomorrow.

UPDATE: In place, and after examination, this color will do. Yes, it will.

Oh, Punkin

Miss Francesca asked about my Rit Dye project.

I started here, today. Mind, it took me a minute to remember to do before and after. This one's wet.

Let's check when they come out of the dryer.

I know my value.

Just after I married Lyman, my mama lit into me.

She said, "I worked for you to go to school. I expected you to go to IBM."

I said, "Mama, I have work to do here."

She took to Lyman when she learned he could do plumbing.

Babies

Not to offend anyone, but we're equal opportunity here.

We have a little colored girl at bottom and a honky up top.

Gracious sakes. Do I have a hand that pretty?

The right one, kids.

My son and I

My son, Michael, and I.

Oooh, what lucky a man he was.

I've nearly had it with the blogosphere.

When I wasn't cooking for my children, I was looking for the lyrics of Koko Taylor's, "I am a woman."

As I remember:

I am a woman,
I sing the blues,
I am a woman,
I change old to new.

I hold back the lightning,
With the palm of my hand,

Shake hands with the devil,
Make him crawl in the sand

Ohh, yeahhh.

What are you supposed to say?

Vicki, from the dentist's office, called today. I had an appointment for a deep-scaling and antibiotic insertion for one troublesome molar in my left jaw for October 26.

"We have a space open tomorrow afternoon. Would you like to come in then, instead?"

Are you kidding?

After more than 20 years in his fantasy baseball league, Lyman finishes in first place.

What might a really hungry, blue-collar Southern woman cook for dinner? Salmon patties, purple-hull peas, hot-water cornbread and fried okra work.

Sean, Irma Thomas will be in town for an hour or two on October 16.

No, not your town, silly, our town.